In Ankh-Morpork, the smallest unit of currency was the elim, worth a sixteenth of a penny, around the value of a very small potato that is only a little bit green. Being a greengrocer, Fiddyment senior actually took rather a lot of elims, and rarely gave them in change. But elims were, in themselves, a valuable commodity, because they cost a shilling each to produce by hand. Fiddyment Sr, being a businessman, had an arrangement with the Royal Mint that for every hundred elims he brought back to the bank, the bank would pay him a shilling, and that wasn't to be sniffed at when money was tight.
So once a month, while Herb was at school, Fiddyment Sr and Auxin left his mother and younger brothers to take a cart of 'vegetables' to the bank.
It was when Auxin was fourteen, one day out of the blue, that they ran into trouble. Riding on the back of the truck, Auxin noticed the two men on horseback that seemed to be closing in on them.
"Dad? I think we're getting robbed." he said, leaning over to nudge his father in the driving seat.
"We're paid up with the thieves guild." his father said, but urged the horses on a little nonetheless. "Besides, they're hardly going to steal potatoes."
Auxin looked back at the men. Definitely getting closer. He looked at the back of the wagon for something, anything he could use to fight them off. The next moment, one of the men on horseback leapt on the cart. He swung the bag of potatoes and knocked the robber over the side of the wagon.
He had just a moment to feel satisfied about this when he was hit roughly from behind by the second robber. As everything went dark, he caught a glimpse of something shiny leaping onto the cart...
"Are you okay? It's Auxin, isn't it?"
Auxin opened his eyes. He had fallen out of the cart onto the ground, and a rather concerned watchman was poking at him.
"Did they get away?" he asked, sitting up.
"We have arrested them for stealing without a licence." the watchman said. "That was a good swing, well done!"
The watchman clapped him on the shoulder, before going back to talk to his Dad. Auxin stared after him.
***
That night, he went up to his father counting the takings, and told him he wanted to be a watchman. His father barked a laugh.
"You think a lanky kid like you would get into the watch? Go and restock the potatoes."
Auxin headed back into the dim shop. He picked up the potatoes, stared at them for a moment, and experimentally lifted them over his head.
So once a month, while Herb was at school, Fiddyment Sr and Auxin left his mother and younger brothers to take a cart of 'vegetables' to the bank.
It was when Auxin was fourteen, one day out of the blue, that they ran into trouble. Riding on the back of the truck, Auxin noticed the two men on horseback that seemed to be closing in on them.
"Dad? I think we're getting robbed." he said, leaning over to nudge his father in the driving seat.
"We're paid up with the thieves guild." his father said, but urged the horses on a little nonetheless. "Besides, they're hardly going to steal potatoes."
Auxin looked back at the men. Definitely getting closer. He looked at the back of the wagon for something, anything he could use to fight them off. The next moment, one of the men on horseback leapt on the cart. He swung the bag of potatoes and knocked the robber over the side of the wagon.
He had just a moment to feel satisfied about this when he was hit roughly from behind by the second robber. As everything went dark, he caught a glimpse of something shiny leaping onto the cart...
"Are you okay? It's Auxin, isn't it?"
Auxin opened his eyes. He had fallen out of the cart onto the ground, and a rather concerned watchman was poking at him.
"Did they get away?" he asked, sitting up.
"We have arrested them for stealing without a licence." the watchman said. "That was a good swing, well done!"
The watchman clapped him on the shoulder, before going back to talk to his Dad. Auxin stared after him.
***
That night, he went up to his father counting the takings, and told him he wanted to be a watchman. His father barked a laugh.
"You think a lanky kid like you would get into the watch? Go and restock the potatoes."
Auxin headed back into the dim shop. He picked up the potatoes, stared at them for a moment, and experimentally lifted them over his head.