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The Case of the Baguette Bandit: Part 2
Captain Carrot was not an amused man. It was bad enough that one little old lady be mugged with a baguette of dwarf bread, but now there had been three similar attacks, all on the elderly, all by a 'man with a goatee'.
They had to face facts: they were looking for a cereal.
"Lance-Constable Fiddyment, what can you report?" he asks Auxin.
"It's a two foot long dwarf bread." Auxin says. "I asked the local bakers and most bakeries that forge dwarf bread use a shorter oven, because it takes less fuel."
"Good." Carrot nods approvingly. "So we're looking for someone with a big oven. I checked the dwarf bread museum and there's no signs that one was used recently, and nothing missing. We may need to ask potters."
"Is odd choice of weapon." Detritus comments.
"Maybe they plan to eat the evidence." Carrot suggests.
Auxin imagines this briefly. The suspect would need good teeth.
"The dwarves are unhappy, there's talk of a ban on dwarf bread. There's a merchant's guild meeting tonight." he says.
"Are you invited?" Carrot asks.
"Well, my dad is." Auxin says.
"Okay, take the evening off, and go along in plain clothes." Carrot says. "We want to know about anyone who is selling two foot loaves of dwarf bread, and anyone who might have a motive for upsetting the dwarves."
Auxin is about to insist that he isn't a greengrocer, but stops. Okay, maybe he can be a greengrocer just this once.
He wonders whether anyone will comment on him being at the meeting, now that he's a watchman, but rather annoyingly, nobody seems to have even noticed. He slips into the meeting between Dad and Alik, the baker's son from next door.
He gives Alik a small smile. The two boys are the same age - exactly the same age, in fact, sharing a birthday. Alik's family came from Klatch originally, but he was born in Ankh-Morpork, and the two have been friends since Auxin's family moved to the city from the Sto Plains when he was little. Both knew the difficulty of living with parents who expected dedication to the shop above all else.
Alik's dad baked all kinds of bread, including Klatchan and Dwarf, on the grounds that the more people you cater for, the more money you make. The two families had a food-swapping arrangement too, and it made Auxin's day feel a little brighter whenever he saw Alik turn up at the end of the day with the unsold bread.
"Don't normally see you at the meetings." Alik comments quietly. "You undercover?"
"Yeah." Auxin nods. "What's the word on the bakers' street?"
"People are baking dwarf bread like crazy." Alik says. "We did five extra rounds today, and we sold all of them."
Interesting. Auxin writes this down. Dwarf bread never goes off, so it's the sort of thing people can panic buy.
He makes a few more notes through the meeting, until his father suddenly leans over and snatches the notebook, giving him a glare. Auxin shrinks back in his seat. He knows that look. Alik shoots him a sympathy glance.
Fiddyment senior waits until they are back inside the shop before turning on him.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, boy?!" He yells. "This is a small community, you can't just turn up to a guild meeting and start spying on people! What if word gets out, what will the neighbours think?"
"They won't find out." Auxin says. "Dad, they barely even notice I exist. Only one person apart from Alik even spoke to me, and he called me Hawking."
His father takes the notebook out his pocket, rips out Auxin's latest notes, and hands it back.
"Don't you ever do that to me again." he says. "Now go and restock the shop." He heads for the stairs, then stops, and turns around. "I finally thought you were taking an interest in our family trade. I'm really disappointed, Auxin."
Auxin tucks his notebook back in his pocket and lights a candle, before going down to the cellar to heft the large sacks of vegetables up to the shop. Somehow, those last words stung the most.
They had to face facts: they were looking for a cereal.
"Lance-Constable Fiddyment, what can you report?" he asks Auxin.
"It's a two foot long dwarf bread." Auxin says. "I asked the local bakers and most bakeries that forge dwarf bread use a shorter oven, because it takes less fuel."
"Good." Carrot nods approvingly. "So we're looking for someone with a big oven. I checked the dwarf bread museum and there's no signs that one was used recently, and nothing missing. We may need to ask potters."
"Is odd choice of weapon." Detritus comments.
"Maybe they plan to eat the evidence." Carrot suggests.
Auxin imagines this briefly. The suspect would need good teeth.
"The dwarves are unhappy, there's talk of a ban on dwarf bread. There's a merchant's guild meeting tonight." he says.
"Are you invited?" Carrot asks.
"Well, my dad is." Auxin says.
"Okay, take the evening off, and go along in plain clothes." Carrot says. "We want to know about anyone who is selling two foot loaves of dwarf bread, and anyone who might have a motive for upsetting the dwarves."
Auxin is about to insist that he isn't a greengrocer, but stops. Okay, maybe he can be a greengrocer just this once.
He wonders whether anyone will comment on him being at the meeting, now that he's a watchman, but rather annoyingly, nobody seems to have even noticed. He slips into the meeting between Dad and Alik, the baker's son from next door.
He gives Alik a small smile. The two boys are the same age - exactly the same age, in fact, sharing a birthday. Alik's family came from Klatch originally, but he was born in Ankh-Morpork, and the two have been friends since Auxin's family moved to the city from the Sto Plains when he was little. Both knew the difficulty of living with parents who expected dedication to the shop above all else.
Alik's dad baked all kinds of bread, including Klatchan and Dwarf, on the grounds that the more people you cater for, the more money you make. The two families had a food-swapping arrangement too, and it made Auxin's day feel a little brighter whenever he saw Alik turn up at the end of the day with the unsold bread.
"Don't normally see you at the meetings." Alik comments quietly. "You undercover?"
"Yeah." Auxin nods. "What's the word on the bakers' street?"
"People are baking dwarf bread like crazy." Alik says. "We did five extra rounds today, and we sold all of them."
Interesting. Auxin writes this down. Dwarf bread never goes off, so it's the sort of thing people can panic buy.
He makes a few more notes through the meeting, until his father suddenly leans over and snatches the notebook, giving him a glare. Auxin shrinks back in his seat. He knows that look. Alik shoots him a sympathy glance.
Fiddyment senior waits until they are back inside the shop before turning on him.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, boy?!" He yells. "This is a small community, you can't just turn up to a guild meeting and start spying on people! What if word gets out, what will the neighbours think?"
"They won't find out." Auxin says. "Dad, they barely even notice I exist. Only one person apart from Alik even spoke to me, and he called me Hawking."
His father takes the notebook out his pocket, rips out Auxin's latest notes, and hands it back.
"Don't you ever do that to me again." he says. "Now go and restock the shop." He heads for the stairs, then stops, and turns around. "I finally thought you were taking an interest in our family trade. I'm really disappointed, Auxin."
Auxin tucks his notebook back in his pocket and lights a candle, before going down to the cellar to heft the large sacks of vegetables up to the shop. Somehow, those last words stung the most.